the plan

So this post will be long and probably not all that exciting...haha...but so many people have been asking me about my birth plan already that I thought it would be easiest to just post about it.

If I've learned anything from watching my friends go into labor and give birth (and from my own experience), it's that you can't always plan out everything and have it go just that way. I didn't really have a plan with Talmage except that I wanted an epidural, did not want an episiotomy, and did not want my baby offered a bottle. I trusted my doctor enough to let the rest fall as it may (bad mistake). That being said, I've been thinking a lot lately about how I "envision" things going for me next February. I understand that it may not work out the way I want, but here is my "plan"...(for now)

One of the major reasons we wanted to have our second baby in Rexburg was because of the hospital here. I am one of those women who needs the added security of giving birth in a hospital. I just feel a lot safer if anything were to go wrong. I've considered natural birth, and I really love the idea of it- I just don't feel completely comfortable doing it YET. I admire those women, including my mother, who have given birth naturally, and maybe someday I will feel more relaxed about it. I think its better to ease myself into something like that, though, since my only delivery so far was induced and I don't even know what going into labor feels like.

My experience at the hospital with Talmage was wonderful. The staff made me feel comfortable and totally pampered. They would bring me food in the middle of the night, take our baby boy for a few hours so I could sleep, help me into the jacuzzi tub, and bring me countless cups of raspberry flavored ice with no complaint. I would talk to the nurses as if they were my friends that I'd known forever, and it was so nice having their support when none of my family could be present. The labor & delivery unit itself was very accommodating, very home-like (it had been recently refurbished). I know some of my friends would say otherwise, but I have to say that I LOVED my time at the Madison Hospital.

I did NOT, however, like that my doctor decided he could leave town all day and go shopping when I was started on pitocin. He figured he'd have all day before I needed to push. He thought that because my pitocin was set to a 1- the very lowest setting- that I wouldn't be ready to push until late that night. He thought he knew how my body, completely individual from everyone else, would work. Turns out 6 hours later I was at a 10 and my doctor was not there. In fact NO ONE was there, and I had to beg Jonathan through tears to call someone in numerous times. I had to wait for doc to come back from Idaho Falls before they let me push, which was pure torture. Even before he left he was never in the room with me at all, just the nurses. I kept thinking, "Why is he even here?" It seems like all the doctors at the clinic I went to worked me around their schedules. Whenever I went in for an appointment, I felt like they rushed it and I had no time to ask questions. While I recovered from delivery, my doctor came in ONCE to check on me and it was a very brief visit. Needless to say, he got the job done and was paid but he did it in a very poor manner.

So, this time I am seeing the midwives and it has made ALL the difference! They are so kind, loving, and want to give you their full attention at appointments. Being women, they understand what you're going through and are gentler with your feelings. They aren't stingy about giving ultrasounds, or letting you come in anytime to listen to the baby's heartbeat, or sitting down and talking to you for an hour straight about whatever. Every midwife here is certified to deliver, so depending on who is there when I go in, I can be certain that it WON'T be one of the doctors. And one of them will sit with you through the entire labor process unless you ask her to leave.

I've told my midwife that if at all possible I do not want to be induced, I would rather go into labor on my own this time and labor at home as long as possible. I understand that this poses the possibility of not getting an epidural, but if things went my way I would like to have one still. (If not, so be it. Natural it is! haha) With Talmage, the doctor scheduled an induction the day after my due date because I wasn't having any contractions, and that worked out fine...I actually loved being induced because it got things going and it's nice having a plan. Still, I would like to know what it feels like for my body to labor naturally. The midwives here generally wait 2 weeks post due date to induce.

So, that is the plan for now. I guess I could better prepare myself for the possibility of laboring naturally but I don't really care to. I understand that our bodies are meant for labor with no drugs etc., and that's all really wonderful. I also know that labor is a beautiful, intimate experience, especially when shared with your spouse by your side- drugs or no drugs. So either way, as long as our daughter is happy and healthy, I will be satisfied. I know I can't force one set of ideas on myself because things can always change. I am not against a C-Section if that is what is necessary. I'm actually REALLY excited to have this baby, regardless of how she gets here. I'm not scared at all this time around, just anxious :)