Waterworks

disclaimer: this is pregnancy related, and a bit gross. You were warned!

I would be happy if my water broke on its own, because my least favorite part about being induced is when they break it for you. I don't mind the IV, or the pitocin if it is low, or even the contractions. I don't mind the needle of an epidural that the nurse sticks in my back as I'm contracting. Nope, the worst part for me is the first thing they do- break my water!

They take this thing that looks like a really long crochet hook and *pop* (the pop part REALLY hurts, at least for me), then a very strange warm gush follows that doesn't stop for a few hours. Every time you move, squirm, cough- more gushing. I remember sitting on a gigantic pad and just feeling like I was peeing everywhere uncontrollably. Sorry to be graphic, lol...but it is the one thing I am NOT looking forward to.

With that said, let me share a funny little story. The other day I was walking my son to a friend's apartment. We had just gotten home from running a few errands and I realized that I forgot to pee while we were out. But since we were already walking, I figured I would wait. The more we walked, I thought "Ok...I may have to use my friend's potty" When we got there, the visit was very brief and I didn't think it was necessary- her building is just across the lot from mine after all. On the walk back, I thought "I am definitely going to pee when I get home!" As we walked into the door Talmage decided to bolt it outside through the snow, so I had to chase him like a sheepdog and herd him back into the apartment. By the time I had him inside, and was standing in the middle of the kitchen, I felt a warm wet feeling all down my legs. I saw it on the floor around me, and freaked out. "Did my water just break?" I thought. Well, of course upon further inspection I realized that NOPE, IT WAS PEE. This is not the first time I've peed myself in the last few weeks (due to Charly being SO very low and me having multiple coughing fits), but it was always just a trickle- nothing like this! I was SO glad that no one was around to see me, even Jonathan. I get embarrassed every time even when I'm alone. The weird part is that I could not control it at all. Charlotte is incredibly low in my pelvis and constantly putting pressure on my bladder.
ps- I never experienced this with Talmage, he preferred my ribcage :)

Jonathan, in his attempt to make me feel better, tells me that at least I won't have to push much- she will just pop right on out. He thinks that's funny. I think it's worrisome.

I guess it's a good thing that my water hasn't broken yet, because if it did I fear her dropping out with no effort on my part. It's pretty much the only thing between her and the outside of my womb : /

Since then I've had a few more "accidents" on the same kind of scale, and it freaks me out every time. It's really gross cleaning up the mess, and I just hope our apartment doesn't smell like pee. I'm afraid to go anywhere because I don't know if I'm gonna BURST... I'm sure I'll laugh about this later but for now it's just humiliating. I'm afraid to go to my appointment and get my cervix checked cause it may trigger something, and I'm afraid to go to church next Sunday and walk through the halls. I am so pathetic...lol...but I can't imagine ANYTHING more horrid than peeing myself in front of other people.

I will be VERY happy when Charlotte is snuggled in my arms and not using my bladder as a waterbed.