Monday, October 26, 2009

Sick and Tired! but also anxiously happy :)

For the last week I've had some sort of bug...not sure if it's seasonal flu, swine flu, or just a common cold (wouldn't put my bet on that one). I did get a seasonal flu shot before ever getting sick so I don't think that's it...the swine flu is very rampant in these parts, though, so that's my guess. I went to the doctor and he said I was probably in the early stages of H1N1. I decided to let it run its course and not take medication that we couldn't afford. Well, I got sicker, then better, then sick again. It has been the third most exhausting experience of my life, alongside having mono in high school and being in my first trimester. I'm not usually one to complain, but I am sick and tired of it.

I'm tired of blowing my nose and getting hour-long nosebleeds in the middle of the night.
I'm tired of eating small portions and watching it come back up into the toilet.
I'm tired of throwing up the tea and milk and grape juice that I drink just to stay hydrated.
I'm tired of being so weak that walking to class feels like running a marathon.
I'm sick of coughing and having it feel like a sword in my abdomen every single time.
I'm sick of missing class and having everyone act like I'm poison mercury when I return.
I'm sick of people challenging my hormones.
I'm sick of worrying about this little baby and if it is staying healthy in it's mothers unhealthy body.

Oooohh, that felt good. I really needed to vent. Now. On a brighter note I am so pleased to have learned more about my husband in these last four months (and especially in the last week) than I have since first knowing him. he is truly the most compassionate soul that exists. I won't go into details...but without him...I would probably be completely out of my mind and house-ridden by now.

I am also getting more and more excited for Thanksgiving. Halloween, eh, it's fun I guess. But Thanksgiving has always been my favorite--and this year it will be my most favorite. My whole family is coming to stay with us and I cannot wait to be with them again. It's long overdue. that point I will be 20 weeks pregnant and get to find out the gender of our baby! I'm stoked! We already have names so I really can't wait to stick one to the little blob on the ultrasound. :)


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

True Blessings

Today was really special. We went to the doctor this afternoon and got to hear our little bun's heartbeat for the first time. It sounded like galloping horses and that was music to my ears. It is amazing to me that this child already has full-functioning organs and a healthy heart. My, they grow fast!

I also got my dreaded flu shot, which made my arm sore, but I'm glad it's out of the way. Thank goodness! It's flu season now and lots of people in this area have it. I actually had a mild flu last week (I say mild but it made me miserable) so hopefully that's good and gone for a while.

Jonathan is currently at the library studying with classmates, and I'm home alone thinking that our living room needs to be re-arranged. For some reason it doesn't look right at all- last night we re-arranged our bedroom and it looked SO much better. But in our living room we have this stuff that doesn't match and two very long couches that make it difficult to position. I think that tonight I'll have to take care of this mess...though Jonathan will do all the lifting and moving cause 1)I can't lift my left arm above my shoulder and 2)pregnant women get excused for everything.

Man, classes are getting tough! I can't wait to graduate at the end of the semester and have it done with. Right now all I wanna do is be a mom- that's it. I really think that Heavenly Father has a purpose for a growing child to be in the womb for nine months--it's preparation time in so many ways. I couldn't just snap my fingers next April and say "Okay, I want a baby now!" I wouldn't have had any time to FEEL how life would change. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am grateful for this time in between July and April. Very, very grateful.

If I haven't said it already- this weekend is gonna rock. We're going to a wedding in the same beautiful temple that we got married in- Bountiful. We haven't been back since December 19th and I think it's time we do. And on Friday night we're visiting with Sarah and Josh!! God bless faithful friends- and I mean those friends that love you no matter what. If you haven't talked in a year they feel no weirdness in seeing you again and having it be just like old times. Not that this is the case with the Robison's because we've kept in touch pretty well (that is, Sarah and I).

People say that friends come and go, people change, life moves on, etc. That has been true for most of my friends, but not for Sarah. I have known Sarah since I walked into Primary at age 10. We were friends instantly and I asked if she wanted to sleepover. She did, we had fun, and we were best friends from there on. In high school we both made more, new friends but could always title each other THE BEST FRIEND. I don't know why this was...we are pretty different from each other. I think that what holds the glue together is our mindset on life. We share the same logic and much of the same emotion. We both have strong testimonies of the gospel. We love ourselves, and our family, and our husbands. She is that one friend that I sincerely feel is happy for me when she says she is. So what is there that wouldn't keep us together? I say, there is nothing. One day she'll be old and I'll be old and we'll sit across from each other and smile toothless grins and laugh at ourselves because life is great. That's just how it is between us, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.