Thursday, May 31, 2012

being naked

I wake up to the best little faces.

Oh how I love them! They totally crack me up!

They don't mind being naked at all. I wish I felt the same way...

I'll admit that I feel super fat these days...I can hardly zip up my pants over the baby belly flab. My priorities are my children and so I don't take a lot of time on improving my body image, but its something that I want to work on. I want to accept myself as I am, stretch marks and all. If I know that I'm being proactive, whether the weight stays or goes, that would be enough. As long as I'm doing something and not just sitting around...which, believe me, I love to do.

So that thing I was going to try? Well, it WAS going to be jogging. Yeah...I hate to jog/run and I think I always will. My overall goal is to lose weight and I am trying out a few things. Some of those being to drink 80 oz. of water a day, allowed ONE thing with sugar each day, and no eating after 9 pm. They are small goals because I need to start small...I can't become a super workout diva overnight. Something else I'm trying is 50 reps of crunches before bed along with 20 reps of weights with my arms. I also try to do yoga when I find a free front of the tv, in the shower, during nap times, standing in the kitchen...last night I took a bubble bath, balanced a cup of water on my head and said "Om"s. It felt great, I'm not even kidding.

Today I did wii zumba, and it kicked my trash. But it felt good to move my body and sweat, even if I did look like a total idiot (I won't even let Jonathan watch me).

The one thing that really helps me, though, is looking through pictures. I have my high school senior pic on my fridge to serve as motivation, but the pictures that really lift up my spirits are the ones of me being pregnant with Charlotte and holding her in the hospital right after she was born. It reminds me that it was so worth it, and helps me to appreciate my body for what it was capable of doing- bringing two beautiful spirits into this world. I may never look the same again, but I am a better person because of it.

Monday, May 28, 2012

there and back again

This weekend we drove to Idaho to spend the weekend with Jonathan's family. It was a looooong drive with the two little ones but with the help of our car dvd player and lots of warm bottles they stayed relatively happy :)

My favorite thing all weekend was going on a DATE with hubby. His family watched our kids and we knew they were in good hands, so we just relaxed and took the time to focus on each other. We haven't been on a date since the middle of my pregnancy with Charlotte. It was SO NICE! I love feeling like I used to when we were dating- getting all giddy when he opens my door and being able to hold his hand the entire time without letting go. I love him :]

We saw The Avengers movie and then went out to all-you-can-eat sushi place that was *really* good. Sushi is both our favorite thing to eat and it did not disappoint. We were stuffed full of raw fish when we left and to be honest I think I ate too much...but it felt good to eat so much sushi in one sitting! I usually leave sushi places feeling like I didn't get enough, mainly because we're too poor to buy lots of it.... 

In front of IOU Sushi

There were so many rolls to choose from!

Talmage had a wonderful time soaking up attention from "Gamaw", "Papa", and auntie "Sessa". He enjoyed spending time with the regular farm animals and some of the new additions, too ;]

Hugging Lola, the new goat in town

Unfortunately our son is very sly about sneaking off. On different occasions we found the back door open and that boy in the chicken's pen, on the edge of the koi pond, and playing near the road. Yep. I nearly had a heart attack about 8 times in the last 4 days. It feels good to shut him in his room and deadbolt the front door now that we are home...

These are just some random pics of the rest of our trip.
Both of us asleep

I love her "blase" face , and yes- I do munch on those delicious cheeks :D

Auntie Cressa, or "Sessa" She graduated high school this weekend!

Dressed up for Sunday
On the drive back we just HAD to pull over at the outlet mall and give Charlotte a bottle....I mean, she was hungry...and Woodburn was the nearest exit...oh, and it was also the last day of the Memorial Day sales (we found this out upon entering the stores). All I gotta say is I scored BIG! I LOVE CARTER'S! I'm also really starting to like Columbia clothing... Jonathan is turning me into a outdoorsy chick...finally...

I am looking forward to being home this week, taking it easy, cooking homemade meals, doing lots of laundry, hanging out by the pool with my two adorable children and soaking in the summer warmth :)

I may even start something new, but I can't talk about that one yet...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

meet Ookie

When Talmage was just a few months old we got him "Spot" the giraffe, and to this day he takes it EVERYWHERE. He needs it to go to sleep, and rubs it against his face when he's upset. Sometimes he sucks on the tail strings to calm himself down. We eventually got a second Spot so that he wouldn't have a panic attack when we had to wash it. It seriously has saved us so much grief from his tantrums-I don't know what we would do without Spot! 

We got a "lovey" for Charlotte about a week ago. Its a monkey that plays music when you pull its tail. She LOVES it!! This kinda surprised me; it took Talmage a few months to get really attached to his Spot. But Charlotte has a new best friend and its name is Ookie. We let Talmage name it...I think in his head he meant to "monkey" or "oo-oo" but what came out was Ookie. We thought it was cute and it just stuck!

Now, when C cries, T winds up Ookie and hands it to her. It is the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
Sometimes he pulls an Indiana Jones and switches Ookie with Spot when she's asleep...but always switches them back after a few minutes. Heaven forbid he go too long without his beloved giraffe!

She holds it tight to her little body and goes right to sleep each time. This may come in handy as we transition her to sleeping on her own and NOT in our bed...

Welcome to the family, Ookie! ha ha...

Monday, May 21, 2012

the B word

There's something that's been mulling over in my mind and I want to express how I feel about it, though for a while I wasn't sure whether the blog was really the right place to do that. The more I thought about it I realized "this is MY blog. my thoughts, my opinions. I am allowed to write what I believe."

So here it goes. I'm going to be real about my thoughts on breastfeeding.

I realize not everyone who reads my blog has kids and so this may not interest you, but its something I need to write about for myself. Also, this post isn't meant to offend and I make reference to NO ONE that reads this.

Two things.
1. It really, REALLY disturbs me when I hear an able-bodied (meaning, capable of b) woman say that she won't even try to b. Having the ability to b is like having children, it is a gift that many take for granted. It is a unique and emotionally significant experience, and shouldn't be denied to anyone that has been blessed with that gift.
Whether its their first or the sixth child, I believe that every infant deserves the right to have breast milk at first. It is a different experience with each baby.
Heavenly Father created a woman's body with a very specific purpose- to bear and nurture children. We as women owe it to ourselves to let our bodies do what they were created for. I've even heard some first time mothers say that b grosses them out and just isn't for them. To me that's like saying womanhood just isn't for them.

2. What irks me even more is when b advocates look down on others who were not able to continue b for whatever reason. There are a MILLION or more different reasons why b doesn't work out. Those of us who formula feed are not "taking the easy way out", or "being lazy with feedings". It can be emotionally ripping for a woman to have to stop b, and it doesn't make it any better to have judgements placed upon her by anyone.
If I wasn't so worried about what others would think of me, I could have saved myself a LOT of grief with b my son for those long 6 months. I cried every day for 2 months after I switched my son to formula because I could not continue to b him; it was one of the saddest things as a new mother that I went through. I cried not for my son (he was taken care of nutritionally just fine with the formula) but for myself because I felt less like the woman I was meant to be. I understand now that that wasn't true, but it sure was depressing to have someone make me feel guilty for my decision.

My own experiences with b has led me to formulate these feelings. I have a few days left of being able to b Charlotte, as my supply is quickly diminishing. If you add up the months that I was able to exclusively b both of my two children it would be about 9 months. I can say now that I am proud of this number and feel very thankful that I could go on as long as I did. I am happy that I tried, and I don't regret my b days even though they weren't always pleasant. Through the latch issues, yeast infections, mastitis, soreness, and decreased milk supply- I held on for as long as I could. It was a beautiful and enriching experience for me. Never have I felt more in tune with my body and more like a woman.

I applaud the women that go the full 12-18 months, and I'm happy for those that have never run into any problems. But I want to say to all mothers, be proud of what you could endure- whether it was for the first 3 days or 3 months, be proud of the mother and woman that you are.

I was going through my pictures, trying to find one of me b for this post. I found none, because there were none. I never thought to ask hubby to take a picture of me b because it just didn't seem relevant or appropriate really. How silly is that? What could be more relevant and appropriate? We take pictures of the things we want to remember and I want to remember this.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have such a memory?
Tonight, I think, I will ask for a picture.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

weekend crafts!

Some people party it up on the weekends. I, however, use my free time to make crafts. With Jonathan home Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I can get oh so much done.

Actually, the truth is that I hardly craft at all these days. There's just too many other things to do. But there were some little projects that I wanted to get done, so I made time in between naps :]

butterfly mobile & "memorial"
Remember that darling butterfly mobile that I made for Charlotte? Well, our little "destructo" as we like to call him tore it to many tiny pieces.  It was un-fixable, so after holding a severe grudge for about a week I decided to make new and BETTER one. With the first one, I just used scraps of paper that I already had. So the one advantage of a re-do was being able to pick out new paper!

 I hung it really high where Talmage couldn't reach. Unless he grows a foot overnight I think it's safe!

 I made the new mobile weeks ago, but this weekend I finally got around to the "butterfly memorial" honoring those dear paper butterflies that survived from the mobile #1. I know, I it sentimental or whatever, but I just couldn't throw them away :/

good behavior chart
Oh the power of positive reinforcement. I learned about it in my childhood development classes, but never imagined it could make so much of a difference. Talmage has caught on real quick how to get rewarded with stickers...hope it lasts!
When the chart is completely full (10 stickers for each row) he'll get something extra cool :]

glass bead earrings
I fell in love when I saw these aqua beads and had to go home right away to make jewelery with them :]
and of course some new bows for this little cutie.

Happy crafting, everyone!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

miss 3 months!

She is growing so fast and getting chunkier by the day. She loves to coo and gurgle and laughs when we tickle her. She thinks its funny when we say "AH BOO!" Talmage gets a hoot out of watching her facial expressions. She has the most kissable pouty lips! She gets excited and smiley when she sees her bottle, but not as smiley as when her daddy comes home and snuggles her till bedtime. We love her a whole lot and feel very blessed to have such a sweet little angel in our lives! 
Happy 3 months, Charly girl!

Monday, May 14, 2012