Wednesday, March 21, 2012

apples and oranges

WARNING: this post is all about my babies. Nothing else :]

Our two children could not be any more different from each other. It's like black and white!

Both, however, have taught me LOTS about illness and injury. Thankfully I have not had to take either one to the ER yet, and I pray I never will.

When Talmage was born, he had a clogged tear duct and severe eczema. He later grew into chronic ear infections and had to go into surgery to have tubes. None very serious things, but enough to scare this first time momma.

Charlotte so far has had jaundice, colic, and acid reflux. And oh yeah, -insert long scientific name here for the baby rash that she is sporting all over her delicate baby skin-....

Thank goodness for pediatricians!

Just a few other differences...

Talmage was so chill as a baby- he loved his swing and watching the people around him do their thing.
Charlotte never wants to be put down. She will tolerate the swing and bouncer only if she is ready to sleep. She insists on being held, which I now know is associated with her reflux.

Our son was a chunk at birth, and continued to rapidly gain weight over the first few months, coming in at the 90th percentile for weight at almost every appointment. He never lost any birth weight.
Charlotte was a bit smaller, and lost birth weight right away. She has not even gained an entire pound in the last month. Everyone tells me how small she is...which kind of annoyed me for a while since it was something that concerned me (also due to reflux), but now I have come to grips with it.

Charlotte loves being swaddled and Talmage LOATHED it. 

Talmage's hunger cues could be heard a mile away. He always let me know when he wanted to eat and when he was full. He was a champion eater, and would drain me completely each time. He ate LOUDLY (yum yum noises) and NEVER spit up. It was difficult to breastfeed him. I had to use a nipple shield and had recurring mastitis (among other things) in the 6 months I nursed him before switching to formula. Each case of mastitis was extremely painful and I would get a high fever. I took so many antibiotics it was making me sick.

Charlotte barely whimpers when she's hungry, likes to eat intermittently with lots of pauses, and never really shows that she is full. I worry if she's even getting enough. Her tummy is so small that she only ever eats on one side. She spits up everything she eats about half the time. I just took her to get an xray and watched her reflux in action, so now she's on medication. However, she is very good about nursing and has never needed a shield. From the day she was born she has been awesome at latching properly and I was only in pain for a few weeks while I adjusted to nursing again. I have had mild mastitis twice so far and used home remedies to soothe the pain. I hope to continue nursing her for her first year, but we'll see.

However, there are some similarities too :)
Both love sleeping on their tummy, prefer MAM binkies to any other brand, have "small heads" (13th and 17th percentile!), love warm baths and car rides, fit so well in Costco diapers, love to snuggle with mom & dad, and are the two most beautiful babies I have ever laid eyes on. I could not ask for more perfect children, and yes BOTH will always be babies to me. Talmage is still my baby even though he's turning 2 in less than a month :]

Saturday, March 17, 2012

a post about nothing in particular

I finally got around to getting Charlotte's birthprint done. (Remember the one I made for Talmage?) It honestly didn't take long but freeing up just half an hour for myself is difficult to do these days :] I loved how it turned out, however homemade it looks.

and just for fun here is an update on Charlotte. She turned one month old today! She weighs 8 something lbs now...still so tiny. She eats great, most of the time. Occasionally she will spit up A TON and its kinda scary. And usually at the worst possible time, like yesterday while I was in Payless Shoes. I am not sure why she does this but I've given up trying to understand a newborn. She sleeps pretty good, and during the night if I feed her at 10 pm I usually only have to feed her again two more times. Still so exhausting because that includes 2 diaper changes, keeping myself awake while she nurses lying beside me, and two burpings and getting her back to sleep.

She has a lot of baby acne right now that looks well...I'll admit it, quite hideous. I still love her and think she is beautiful but the acne is kinda bad. Hopefully it doesn't hurt! She finally has outgrown "newborn" size and is in the 0-3 month clothes (which I'm stoked about cause I have much cuter things in that size, haha). AND THE BEST NEWS! I finally have her on somewhat of a routine! It is still a work in progress but usually after feeding her in the morning, she will sleep until Talmage goes down for a nap, which lets me focus my attention on him until he is fed and asleep. She also takes a long stretch of sleep in the early evening when Talmage is most active, so that's nice. I know her sleep patterns will change but it works for now and is giving me some peace of mind :]

and Talmge is pretty much the same. haha. He loves new words, reading his books, watching his tv programs, and driving me crazy. What is new? We still love him a whole lot, though :]

This weekend is CRAZY busy with a yard sale, ward activities (which I may or may not go to), a baby shower, and more packing. I am crossing my fingers that we make some major progress with the packing because I feel like I am living in a pig-sty.

Monday, March 12, 2012

little ones and totes and boxes, oh my!

The title of this post pretty much says it all. These days have been so crazy with packing and keeping up with our two lovable children...I honestly can't see how we will ever get everything all packed up. This move is giving us a fresh start- we are selling things in a yard sale this weekend, selling things online, trashing other things, organizing the things we'll keep, and hopefully buying some NEW things when we get to our new home (like furniture, cause we're selling our couch and table). SO basically there is a lot to get done. And since Jonathan is gone at work everyday, you can guess who does most of the packing...(that would be me).

Our official move out date is April 5th- only 4 weeks away! We will be leaving right after Charlotte's baby blessing on the 1st.

I am really looking forward to arriving at our new place. We found an apartment in the country part of Salem that is only 10 minutes away from town. The apartment itself is MUCH bigger than the one we have now and there's even a pool in the complex (which I know Talmage will love!). And I have already made a good friend in Salem- the manager of our new complex, who would have thought!

In the meantime, Talmage is getting more comfortable with having a little sis. He actually will tolerate holding her for a little while now! These pics are in order and you can see in the last one that he was ready for her to get off, ha ha...

Monday, March 5, 2012

camera cuteness

So for those of you who read and commented on my last post, I need to say thank you for your supporting and loving words. They really helped and its been amazing to me how my perspective has changed in the last few days. It's still rough, and I still get really stressed at times. But, I am having more "good moments" and learning some little tricks on how to juggle both kids and other things. It IS getting easier, slowly but surely. And she is just a few weeks old so I know it can only get better from here!

On a lighter note, my friend Sharee from the ward was kind enough to come over and take some pictures of our little lass. With her cord off and the jaundice gone, she was finally picture-posey ready! It was a bit difficult keeping her asleep and comfortable, but we made it work :) Sharee was very patient and did an incredible job with the lack of natural light (we don't get many bright sunny days in Rexburg during the winter). I just love how they all turned out!

Here are a few of my favorites! I say a few...but it might be pic overload, sorry...
(the rest can be seen on Facebook)

Friday, March 2, 2012

1 + 1

I am going to vent. Just  a little.
Don't judge me...cause I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep.

The blissful haze of bringing a sweet new baby home has faded and reality has set in. Jonathan has his normal work hours again, leaving me at home all day alone. It is not easy taking care of two kids under 2 yo. It is rough. And exhausting.

Don't get me wrong- I am still so enamored with Charlotte and love her to pieces. She fits into our little family perfectly- like the piece of the puzzle that we never knew was missing. But the combination of recovering from giving birth, learning once again how to breastfeed, the pains that come along with breastfeeding (including a mild case of mastitis already darnit), constantly being peed on puked on, sleep deprivation, and juggling the needs of two children at once has sort of overwhelmed me in a way I didn't know was possible. When I'm doing something with one I feel guilty for not catering to the other. I don't know how we make it through the course of a day, and I hardly remember what goes on at night. Excuse my language but every morning I feel just plain shitty. I feel like crawling into a ball and going to sleep. It's not that I'm ungrateful for these two beautiful children, but I don't know how to handle taking care of them, my husband (who is currently sick), and myself.The routine I had down pat just a few weeks ago is now unpredictable chaos.

Ok, vent over.

I've been saying a lot of prayers lately, and that has helped immensely. I can feel Heavenly Father giving me the physical strength I need to carry on, and helping me to see the positive in a situation. I love the days where I can make quality time for each child, especially with Talmage because he will remember if I neglect him. I love when I get to nap with Charlotte, her warm little body cuddled in my arm. I'm still working on how to give time to Jonathan, but that may take awhile. As for myself, long hot baths are a refuge. Also the gals in my ward have been amazing, bringing food and having Talmage over for play dates with their kids. Yes, I'm not the ONLY young mother of two in the ward. There are a few others and simply put... they rock. I feel so blessed to have their support and empathy. I thrive on their encouragement & advice. Hopefully I can be in their boat someday helping someone else figure it out.

I've been told that it takes a few more weeks to get the hang of things, and I so look forward to that. I want routine again. I want predictable! Of course there's always some flexibility...(what's parenthood without some surprises along the way?) and I accept that. I just hope life gets a bit more manageable before we up and move at the beginning of April.

In the meantime, I will continue to try and tackle the never-ending laundry... ha...