Baby Shower & Nursery

I am posting some pictures of my shower and of Talmage's room for my sweet mother who really wants to be here for all of this but cannot be...so here's for you, Ma! I miss you like crazy and appreciate your support from far-away :)

BreeAnn, a really wonderful friend of mine, threw a baby shower for me at her apartment and it was so great! I wasn't sure what kind of turn-out we would have, but I sent out 30 invites. Almost 30 people came. I was truly touched and it just made me realize how many great people I have in my life :) And for those who weren't able to make it, they each sent gifts anyway. What a blessed girl I am!

These were taken before the shower started, and unfortunately I forgot to take ANY pictures of all the gals that came...but believe me, it was quite a full house. Good thing we didn't do it at my teensy place!There were already gifts waiting before it began! Turns out, both my mom and grandma sent theirs to Bree's so that I could open them at my shower. It was very thoughtful, and a pleasant surprise :) I definitely felt closer to home.Trying not to cry while reading my mom's card...BreeAnn's gift to me was painting nursery art for Talmage! They turned out amazing :D One is a baby giraffe and the other is a momma elephant cuddling her baby...so sweet. I love them so much.

All in all the shower was very successful! The theme was children's books and we got plenty of good ones to read to little Talmage!

Here is the nursery- I finally have all the furniture in just right place and its stayin put until he comes. It wasn't a lot of work, but for some reason it took a while to fall into place just right. And of course we were on a budget, so most of it is courtesy of D.I. and Walmart :)
This is the toy train that my grandpa made for Talmage, so we think it's pretty special :)And Megan framed this adorable poem about baby boys as part of her gift, and I just love it! It goes perfectly with his room :)

Now for the main event...a baby in 7 weeks! We are so anxious to meet you, Talmage!

I love Love but not the loveBUG

It is Valentine's Day and Jonathan and I are both sick. That means no going to church and no eating dinner with the cousins... :( Luckily, we did our lovey stuff earlier in the week. I heart-attacked the apartment while J was in class and made him a chocolate-strawberry trifle cake. And I made porkchops :) And he did the funniest thing...haha...we made a lil video if you wanna see.



It's a little dark and I'm horrible with the camera, so if you can't tell the first bear had a sign that said "There aren't enough bear hugs in the world" and the last bear's sign said "that will ever amount to how much I love you" :) Cute idea...I give him major props.

And here is Jerry, our snowman. After four very sunny days he doesn't look this pleasant anymore- but we still like him :)
Getting a little fresh there...
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Silent Feelings

I used to be poetic. Very much so, in fact, that I would spend hours and hours writing poems and thinking lyrical nonsense all day long. I dare say I was pretty good, but not so good that I believed it to be a "talent". It was just a thing. A way of expression. 574 poems later, it stopped.

Now whenever I blog, I write about simple stuff, like "Today Jonathan and I went to the store" or "What beautiful weather this is" etc. As intriguing as I make myself out to be, I don't really care about those things. I write it because it is what I expect to be written on a blog with my married name attached to the top.

I haven't written a poem in over a year. I did write one song...once...but that was months ago. My fingers were in pain and so I put away the guitar back in the closet. If that were me three years ago, I would play until my fingertips bled. I would go crazy in finding new chords and strange sounds that were so pleasing to hear. Now, if it starts to hurt just a little I cannot make myself go on playing. I think that has a lot to do with this "new life". Marriage changes everything.

I love this life, and there's not a thing I would do to take it back- or even put if off. But the hard part of it is coming to grips with what I care about and what I don't. I don't see any good coming from me writing poetry and playing music...not like the good that is in learning how to cook and sew and do crafty, homemaker type things. Still, when I open the closet to find some misplaced something or other and see my pink guitar gathering dust, I am sad for myself.

There are friends of mine, married ones, that would understand my thinking. There are others that would say, "Every talent is important. You need to have things you do just for yourself- so go and do them." How I so wish I could revert back to those things...but it is my belief that we go through a never-ending cycle of gain-lose. I gained the ability to express my feelings when I most needed to speak, and I have lost it when words for sanity were no longer needed. This is just fine with me. The world keeps on turning as far as I can tell.

Maybe one day I will need to speak again. But I enjoy the ease of just being happy and not having to say why. Like last week when we took a walk through the snow and didn't have to say much because it was already perfect. And like today, as I laid on the paper-covered chair at the doctor's office. I smiled quietly, listening to my son's heart beating and no words were needed then. I have never, ever been *so happy-marriage has done that for me. I guess that's why I find it all right to feel in silence.

Snow Poses

This last week has been a fun one :) For one, I am enjoying my part-time job on campus modeling for the art students. It was like the only job that would take me pregnant, and that's because I am pregnant. They wanted students of all shapes and walks of life. They were really excited when I told them I'd model as often as they'd like, as long as I was physically able. So far it is going alright, but its getting more difficult. Today we did an hour-long pose with short breaks in between, but it was brutal on my back and left leg, as I was slumped over to be more "comfortable". That's the one at the top of this post. A man named Nolan Parson drew it and he is super nice. He always gives me sketches when I come to model. His brother Lione is the one who painted the murals for the temple here and his other brother Dell does artwork for the Ensign. All three are very talented.

Some time ago Jonathan and I went sledding at the college hill with his Program Management class. I only went down the bunny slope at a nice slow pace with Jonathan's legs for padding on either side of my belly, haha. But he went all out doing flips and stuff down the long run which scared me half to death. And guess what? He bruised his tailbone and head. He's okay now but for a few days he walked like an old man with a hunched back, poor guy. If you wanna see it in action, it's at the end of this post :)Over the weekend we went ice-skating! Oh so fun! But I got sore pretty quick so it was short-lived...

Jonathan talks a lot about how he loves to make snow caves. He loves snow :) ....and Rexburg has been getting a lot of snow lately, so when he shovels the walk he makes a big snow pile on our front lawn. So...it was getting pretty tall...and alas, a snow cave.


He truly is the love of my life :) silly boy.

And for those of who may want to know..the TALMAGE update:
All is well. I am 7 1/2 months now and he is quite big. There are a lot of gals in my ward having boys (and one having a girl!) so its exciting to be pregnant alongside them. They give me strength like nothing else. Jonathan is really great, too, he gives me massages and strokes my hair to help me sleep at night...though, it doesn't really help but it's the thought that counts :) Everything so far is right on track so hopefully little Talmage comes on time and not during finals week while J is in class. We are so anxious to meet the little guy though, that maybe a *little early isn't such a bad thing!

And here's Jonathan biffing it on the hill...