Our Christmas Miracle

I don't have much time this morning to write because I have to finish a research paper :(
But I just have to express my gratitude for something amazing, a Godsend. All night last night I slept with a smile. Someone, or many people, has done more for me than they will ever realize.

Last night Jonathan and I went out to our friend's house for games, cookies, and cinnamon rolls. It was a wonderful time (we played Settlers and it rocked like always). Anyway, we left at about 10 and as we pulled into our parking spot, a massive blur of color stood on our porch. We sat there and gawked for about 10 seconds before Jonathan said, "Um. Someone left something in front of our door." It wasn't just something-it was many things. Huge things. We could hardly see our front door. We both got out of the car anxiously and I did a quick eye-scan of the items: a baby swing, bouncer, some long heavy bag (which we later found out was a play yard), play mat, footstool for our rocker (how did they know we needed one of those?), a crib mattress (and how did they know we needed that?!), and much more. I couldn't believe my eyes. We have been struggling with our money, wondering if we did the right thing in deciding to have a child. And here was the Lord saying, "See? It's okay. I am looking out for you."
Oh, and our once snow-covered driveway had also been shoveled completely clear. We have yet to buy a shovel.

Over our wreath was a sign that simply said, "Merry Christmas Dennett family! Love, Santa Claus." Whoever you are, Santa or not, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving us this Christmas miracle. You are an angel. God bless.

Aa rum-bum-bum-bum...

Thanksgiving has come and gone at last. It was so wonderful having my family here and I feel truly grateful for each of them. Now there's just 3 more weeks of school left and I WILL BE DONE. augh, so excited. I really hate school. Although, if I had to choose a college to go to it would only be BYUI, so I'm glad for the experience. And then I can just concentrate on finding a job and preparing for this baby!

The mutual "feeling" has been officially confirmed--we are having a boy! I was so relieved, and here is why.
For the longest time I wanted a girl so badly, but starting from about 2 weeks ago ALL I could think about was having a boy. A little Jonathan. I would sit and stare at the boys in our ward, and when we went to the mall I was instantly drawn to all things blue and brown. I felt horribly guilty, because what if we had a girl after all? Would I be dissapointed?
Jonathan and I would always call it a "he" by accident. If I jumped from feeling it move, he'd say "Did you feel him?" or "What's he doing in there? Somersaults?" and I would do the same thing- "Oh, he's just stretching out his little limbs" and so on. We would catch ourselves a lot of the time, and try to revert back to "it". I don't think it was by accident anymore.
Right before we went into the doctor's office, I asked Jonathan if he would still be happy were it a girl on that screen. Of course he said he would, but I could tell he didn't anticipate that happening. I too wondered if I'd be as overjoyed...but a big part of me knew we'd start our family with a son :)

Today we went to the fabric store to pick out our colors for the nursery. For now we have the mindset of red, brown, baby blue and dark blue. We also bought our stroller and car seat last night and I can't wait for it to get here! It is dark brown and baby blue. For some reason I'm just not a fan of the cartoon/cutesy stuff. Jonathan and I are both pretty simple people. Oh and Megan just dropped off her Christmas present and I LOVE it. She bought an old rocker, painted it to match the crib, and upholstered it with deep red corduroy- one of the colors we previously decided would definitely be in the room. It is slowly all coming together, but there's still so much to do. Good thing we have four months!

Happy Holidays everyone,
-linz

Tis The Season

I never thought I'd come out of it...but- I'm all better! My body is feeling glorious and food has never tasted better. It feels so good to be me again.

And I am still me, but a lot has changed. For one, there is this hard ball just under my bellybutton that makes strange flutters in the night and cramps up constantly. Whenever it gets tight, the only thing to relieve it is to pee. I can't begin to count the number of increased trips I've made to the bathroom lately...it's completely insane. Every ten minutes I feel like I'm gonna explode! Ah, the joys of pregnancy.

Jonathan and I are hand-making all our gifts this year because we are so broke. It's turning out pretty good..but I feel so cheap. The gift J is making is *really* cool, but my gifts are so...what is the word...craft-maid. I just hope my family members will still love me on Christmas morning, haha.

Speaking of the holidays, it began snowing last night in Rexburg. It is beautiful but oh-so-cold...and it makes horrible company with the wind. Ah well. I'm just excited to put up Christmas decor...we haven't used any of it yet since we were married barely before Christmas last year. It was so fun getting married around Christmas time because people would give us nativity sets and other holiday trinkets for presents :) Those things meant much more to me than the pyrex dishes and bath towels... (even though we needed those, too). Anyway, before I can even think about Christmas we have to get to Thanksgiving-and I'm super excited for this one.

I miss my family. It's been almost a year since I've seen my parents and little sister. I'm just counting down the days!!!

Sick and Tired! but also anxiously happy :)

For the last week I've had some sort of bug...not sure if it's seasonal flu, swine flu, or just a common cold (wouldn't put my bet on that one). I did get a seasonal flu shot before ever getting sick so I don't think that's it...the swine flu is very rampant in these parts, though, so that's my guess. I went to the doctor and he said I was probably in the early stages of H1N1. I decided to let it run its course and not take medication that we couldn't afford. Well, I got sicker, then better, then sick again. It has been the third most exhausting experience of my life, alongside having mono in high school and being in my first trimester. I'm not usually one to complain, but I am sick and tired of it.

I'm tired of blowing my nose and getting hour-long nosebleeds in the middle of the night.
I'm tired of eating small portions and watching it come back up into the toilet.
I'm tired of throwing up the tea and milk and grape juice that I drink just to stay hydrated.
I'm tired of being so weak that walking to class feels like running a marathon.
I'm sick of coughing and having it feel like a sword in my abdomen every single time.
I'm sick of missing class and having everyone act like I'm poison mercury when I return.
I'm sick of people challenging my hormones.
I'm sick of worrying about this little baby and if it is staying healthy in it's mothers unhealthy body.

Oooohh, that felt good. I really needed to vent. Now. On a brighter note I am so pleased to have learned more about my husband in these last four months (and especially in the last week) than I have since first knowing him. he is truly the most compassionate soul that exists. I won't go into details...but without him...I would probably be completely out of my mind and house-ridden by now.

I am also getting more and more excited for Thanksgiving. Halloween, eh, it's fun I guess. But Thanksgiving has always been my favorite--and this year it will be my most favorite. My whole family is coming to stay with us and I cannot wait to be with them again. It's long overdue. And...by that point I will be 20 weeks pregnant and get to find out the gender of our baby! I'm stoked! We already have names so I really can't wait to stick one to the little blob on the ultrasound. :)

loves.

True Blessings

Today was really special. We went to the doctor this afternoon and got to hear our little bun's heartbeat for the first time. It sounded like galloping horses and that was music to my ears. It is amazing to me that this child already has full-functioning organs and a healthy heart. My, they grow fast!

I also got my dreaded flu shot, which made my arm sore, but I'm glad it's out of the way. Thank goodness! It's flu season now and lots of people in this area have it. I actually had a mild flu last week (I say mild but it made me miserable) so hopefully that's good and gone for a while.

Jonathan is currently at the library studying with classmates, and I'm home alone thinking that our living room needs to be re-arranged. For some reason it doesn't look right at all- last night we re-arranged our bedroom and it looked SO much better. But in our living room we have this stuff that doesn't match and two very long couches that make it difficult to position. I think that tonight I'll have to take care of this mess...though Jonathan will do all the lifting and moving cause 1)I can't lift my left arm above my shoulder and 2)pregnant women get excused for everything.

Man, classes are getting tough! I can't wait to graduate at the end of the semester and have it done with. Right now all I wanna do is be a mom- that's it. I really think that Heavenly Father has a purpose for a growing child to be in the womb for nine months--it's preparation time in so many ways. I couldn't just snap my fingers next April and say "Okay, I want a baby now!" I wouldn't have had any time to FEEL how life would change. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am grateful for this time in between July and April. Very, very grateful.

If I haven't said it already- this weekend is gonna rock. We're going to a wedding in the same beautiful temple that we got married in- Bountiful. We haven't been back since December 19th and I think it's time we do. And on Friday night we're visiting with Sarah and Josh!! God bless faithful friends- and I mean those friends that love you no matter what. If you haven't talked in a year they feel no weirdness in seeing you again and having it be just like old times. Not that this is the case with the Robison's because we've kept in touch pretty well (that is, Sarah and I).

People say that friends come and go, people change, life moves on, etc. That has been true for most of my friends, but not for Sarah. I have known Sarah since I walked into Primary at age 10. We were friends instantly and I asked if she wanted to sleepover. She did, we had fun, and we were best friends from there on. In high school we both made more, new friends but could always title each other THE BEST FRIEND. I don't know why this was...we are pretty different from each other. I think that what holds the glue together is our mindset on life. We share the same logic and much of the same emotion. We both have strong testimonies of the gospel. We love ourselves, and our family, and our husbands. She is that one friend that I sincerely feel is happy for me when she says she is. So what is there that wouldn't keep us together? I say, there is nothing. One day she'll be old and I'll be old and we'll sit across from each other and smile toothless grins and laugh at ourselves because life is great. That's just how it is between us, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Child of Mine

One of my closest friends from the younger years had her baby today. I just can't believe she is a mommy already and how much she has prepared herself for this time...and I can't believe that in 6 months I will be in her shoes...laying in a hospital bed with a tiny child in my arms...I have to be honest. I'm scared to death.

How much do I really understand about newborns? I know that all those motherly instincts are supposed to kick in or whatever...but something tells me its a little more than that. I am doing everything in my power right now to prepare myself for that day, but I still don't feel like it's enough. I don't doubt that I will love my child, in fact at 3 months I am already starting to feel that love. But there are so many do's and dont's. The worst thing ever would be for someone to look at me with my baby and think, "Is that the mother? Does she know what she's doing?" I've had recurring nightmares about this...and this morning Jonathan said he had a bad dream, too. It was a little different from mine, but it's apparent that the anxiety is present in both our minds. Augh...I'm doing my best to not worry about it, but days like this are hard to escape. I mean, Chelse gave BIRTH. To a HUMAN BEING. Is that not just a little daunting? I don't think I've ever known someone so personally who had a baby...it hits a different level of emotion. It's much more real.

I know I should give myself more credit. I am a good person and I know how I want to raise my kids. Every day in Child Nutrition I come up with new things my children will or will not do. But what about that whole other realm of ..nurturing? Being there every moment of the day for that little person..

Every time I see an infant my eyes linger on their sweet faces and I feel just that more overwhelmed that someday I'll be responsible for one. Before getting pregnant, I thought through this and felt that I was ready. Maybe I should tack a sign on the bathroom mirror reminding myself of that...or not, cause I always thought that was cheesy. Or maybe I will just keep praying for the assurance that all is well.

La la la Lindsey...

So, it's apparent to me now that not many people actually read this blog...haha. Of course there are the exceptions: my beautiful and forever best friend and loving sister-in-law are always leaving encouraging comments. But I just think it's funny because I spend quite a bit of time perusing through the blogs listed on the right side of the margin there and I wonder if they even give a fleeing thought about how I am doing. Eh, I know it's nothing personal. And to be honest, it is sort of a relief. I feel more confident saying personal things knowing that those others who are close to me probably know about it anyway. And no this is not a pity moment. If nothing else I love the fact that I accomplish something so satisfying as writing yet another post and adding pictures that mean the world to me. I love all my family, too, and I'm certain they have better things to do then read about Lindsey.

That being said, the days are constantly getting better. For anyone who hasn't heard through the grapevine or facebook God forgive I am 10 weeks pregnant. And a few weeks ago I was puking all over the place. I won't go into much detail since I have a pregnancy journal that serves that purpose but holy mackerol...I didn't think it would ever get better. I couldn't eat, sleep, sit, walk without getting sick. And now, I feel much stronger and fall is arriving- my favorite season :) I'm taking classes again and it's GREAT. I love them all and most will prepare me for the coming year as a mother, which works out just dandy. I am making new friends, expanding my comfort zone, and seeing more blessings come into view. And, as a lasting note, I feel very humbly blessed to be given the opportunity to bring a spirit of God into this world and be his/her mother. I'm scared to death, but I've never been more sure of anything.



A lot has already changed, but I feel that Heavenly Father is progressively molding me into the person I will become. The kinder, more patient, more cautious person. But this blog isn't about me. It says "The Dennett's" at the top because it was created for the sharing of both Jonathan's triumphs and mine.

I am really very proud of Jonathan. He is taking on some tough courses this semester but has nothing but a positive attitude about it. He has recently invested himself in the building of his own fly-rod. Someday I think he'd like to do this professionally, but that is time and money far from now. I'm so amazed at his knowledge of the intricacies in fly-fishing. It is truly an art and he is a master. He takes others out fishing and offers to teach many how to fly-fish. He is so kind and generous with his talent that it makes me want to share something I'm good at...though I may need to figure out just what that is. He also ties his own flies with all these complicated tools and things. It just blows me away.

But Jonathan isn't just great at the fishing stuff. He recently accepted the calling of Sports Coordinator for the Elder's Quorum and is really excited. He gets to put together different sports teams and coordinate inter-mural matches. He says it's just like what he'll be doing later in life- getting people together and having a good time. I love him for this. I love his enthusiasm and tenderness. I love that he doesn't get impatient with me when I think I suck at everything. Alongside of the gospel, he is truly the greatest blessing in my life.

Into The Woods

Ah...I love Idaho :)

Coming to live in Rexburg nearly 2 years ago, I didn't know what to expect. And frankly the small, college town was a horribly deceptive image of the rest of the state. Here in town it is dusty, dirty, and boring. Having the opportunity to drive miles and miles past Rexburg's borders has been an eye-opening experience. Last week was my first time seeing the real Idaho landscape- and it is breathtaking. The towering hills, jagged mountain ranges, and abundance of fresh-water streams and rivers are nothing that can be described simply. And spending it with the only person that matters made it even more wonderful.
First off, I needed this vacation. There has been a lot on our plate lately as a newly married couple and the stresses of the independent life have been slowly crushing us inward. Regardless of what our life may seem like to others, we struggle to keep ourselves out of fearful waters. The good news is that we love one another madly and wholly- and so no matter what comes our way, we come out stronger.
As a recent developement, I have felt heavily the judgement of others regarding the kind of person that I am. I try to keep out of the drama crap, but sometimes it just can't be ignored. While we were away, I came to the conclusion that I can't let anyone else decide how good, how true, how pulled-together I am. My ambitions and accomplishments are great to me. My sincerity towards others is not a show. I have an immense love for my friends and family, whether they realize that or not. The decisions that I make with my husband are the very best for us every time. We aren't perfect, but we sort of know what we're doing.

And so here are some of the memories from last week. It was a glorious time, in every way.Uncle Gerald's little part of the Payette. It was low enough to splash in with the pups :)
Our teeny tiny cabin in Grandjean. It contained: one wood stove, one chair, and one cozy bed.
Jonathan in his element :) We went to several little lakes and water holes up in the mountains.Grandjean resort has horses for trail rides. They were very friendly! Especially with horse whisperer here...I sat on this raft while J fished...and the dragonflies couldn't get up out of my face, lol..
The dining area at The Lodge where we ate all our yummy meals :)Just a burnt forest that looked cool on the drive to Stanley- one of Jonathan's favorite places in Idaho.This view of the Sawtooth Range was definitely the best part of the trip. I could see why he likes Stanley so much, as its so close to the mountains. And they have rockin pizza :)

Overall it was a great time. The fresh air, beautiful landscape, and exercise did wonders for me. And I could tell that Jonathan was truly happy in the place where he belongs.

Sisters Reunite!

Last Sunday Jonathan and I were able to drive down to Sandy and visit with our grandparents there- and I got to see Dana! She is spending some time there to get to know Grandpa & Grandma better.

We woke up at 6 am to make in time for Sami's homecoming talk. Sami is my sister-in-law's little brother and he just returned from his mission in England. As we were takin off Jonathan noticed one of our back tires was flat...and well we couldn't do much about it since nothing is open on Sunday in Rexburg. This issue with the tire set us back 6 hours...but eventually we were back on the road with a brand new tire (courtesy of Walmart, who you can count on being open most of the time). The unfortunate thing was that we missed Sami's talk :( but I heard he did a really great job. We showed up in Sandy around 3:oo pm and made it for the BBQ. It was a relief not to have to think about our car problems for a while...

The BBQ was pretty fun..there was lots of yummy food. And Grant was able to come over for a little bit and it is always nice to see him. I think the grass won the vote for a place to sit and goof off :)
Yeah. We're mushy. The next day we went to the Hogle Zoo. I have like millions of pictures of animals but I don't want to take the time to put them all on here, so maybe just a few..


Dana and I on the train! Always my favorite to see :)Later that night Grandma and Dana let me use them as test-runs for facials. I did okay, but I nervous- even with family! Although G-ma said she wouldn't have known it was my first time.

The next day Jonathan, Dana, and I spent the ENTIRE day at Lagoon. All 3 of us love rollercoasters so it was super fun. Probably the funnest day I've had in a long while...and also the most lemonade I've ever consumed within 24 hours.
It was a ton of fun getting wet and going down water slides. I felt like a little tot again :) and I even got somewhat of a tan! This is remarkable for me.

And then the last day (Wednesday) Dana went to Hannah's at about four so we didn't do a whole lot with her. But the grandparents took J and I to Thanksgiving Point. It is beautiful there, for one thing, and they have a great deli. The best part, though, was the DINOSAUR MUSEUM. So cool, like they had real fossils everywhere. Apparently the museum had really expanded and I was very impressed. They even had stromatolites! Ah. And then afterwards we were treated to some frozen yogurt at this cute little creamery spot. The whole thing was fantastic :)

When we got home I anxiously opened all my Mary Kay boxes. I paid for inventory so that I can have stuff on hand. And its a lot...we had to get some shelf cubbies for it all today in fact. I'm excited and nervous to get my business rolling...right now NOBODY that I know is in town and that makes it very hard to book appointments. And most people, when I ask them about Mary Kay, shy away from me in different ways. This makes me feel low...but I'm not gonna let myself get discouraged- because I believe how great these products are and I'm just gonna do my best :) If people aren't interested, that's okay. They're missing out though.
These are the reasons I even got myself into being an Independent Beauty Consultant in the first place:
1. I work on my own time, my own conditions, and I control pretty much every aspect of it.
2. My efforts match will match my success.
3. I need some friends. Right now all I have is Megan. And that's great, but I'm starting to feel like I can't even hold a normal conversation with someone.
4. I know it will help my self-esteem and make me more confident in myself. This is a big factor.
5. It may sound geeky, but I want to learn more about health & beauty. I've never really taken excellent care of my skin, and Jonathan is always breaking out. I know my new knowledge will be beneficial to both of us.
6. In time, hopefully I can earn our family a little extra income.
7. I really, really want a new car.

Anyways, for now it's just fun. And I got to keep like $400 worth of free product for myself :) Pretty sweet.

In about a week we're moving to the other side of Rexburg. Quite literally it is up and down the hill again from where we are now. And here's the thing. I HATE PACKING. Soooo much I hate it. But since J is at work almost always I am stuck with packing it ALL. And today I did a lot...almost everything is boxed or bagged or binned. Time to just sit on the couch and take a deep breath.