On A Sunday

Lately things for Jonathan and I have been slowly smoothing out. Our stresses about this summer are still there, but I know that the Lord is helping us figure it all out.

The biggest issue is a job for Jonathan. He has been very eager to try out something either in Theraputic Recreation or with the Bureau of Land Management. He has filled out countless applications and heard back from none of them. Months ago, he turned in his application to the BLM office and now they tell him they won't hire seasonally because of their budget. This would have been nice to know, say...two months ago? But what can ya do? SO a few days ago he attended a Career Fair here on campus. There he ran into his previous employer from last summer, manager at Heise Hot Springs and a good friend to our family. Heise really loved Jonathan when he worked there for his internship, and it was low-stress, easy to manage, and quite rewarding....the manager told him that he would love to have J come back this summer to work and start him at a higher salary. Jonathan, though, is the kind of person that likes to change things up. The thought of returning to work at Heise isn't his first choice- but for right now it is our best option. A job is a job! And in Rexburg, good jobs to support families are very hard to find.

The other stress is our debt. But hopefully these tax returns will get here soon and we can fix some of that! I also have money coming from Mary Kay for all that product I never sold :) And...Jonathan just became a fitness consultant with an online program called Beachbody that we hope will bring in some extra income each week.

And then there is this little boy on the way.
It is scary, yes, but I have to keep looking at it from a grateful perspective. We have been so blessed throughout this entire pregnancy with insurance, health, and supportive friends and family. There have been absolutely no complications and I am measuring right on track- according to the doctor. The nursery is complete and I really like it, actually :) I can't wait to be a mother and hold our sweet little bundle in my arms all day long. There are still plenty of things to fret over but why should I? I will never be a first-time mom ever again- this is the one and only chance I have. What a precious time :)

And like a cherry to top off our sundae of success is the new Wii! My parents were so gracious to send us their Wii because they don't play it very much. It came last night and we have been having a blast together playing it, hehe. It will be nice to have something in this house that we can do together and enjoy.

To end today's post I just wanted to put up these pics from last Sunday. After church we felt like getting out of the house, so we went to Warm River and fed the fishies :) It is one of my favorite places to go in the winter because it is nearly empty of people and full of snow-bank beauty.
Of course Jonathan couldn't resist pulling out his fly pole...crazy boy trudged through 5 feet of snow in his swim trunks...We are ready for you now, Spring!

Baby Shower & Nursery

I am posting some pictures of my shower and of Talmage's room for my sweet mother who really wants to be here for all of this but cannot be...so here's for you, Ma! I miss you like crazy and appreciate your support from far-away :)

BreeAnn, a really wonderful friend of mine, threw a baby shower for me at her apartment and it was so great! I wasn't sure what kind of turn-out we would have, but I sent out 30 invites. Almost 30 people came. I was truly touched and it just made me realize how many great people I have in my life :) And for those who weren't able to make it, they each sent gifts anyway. What a blessed girl I am!

These were taken before the shower started, and unfortunately I forgot to take ANY pictures of all the gals that came...but believe me, it was quite a full house. Good thing we didn't do it at my teensy place!There were already gifts waiting before it began! Turns out, both my mom and grandma sent theirs to Bree's so that I could open them at my shower. It was very thoughtful, and a pleasant surprise :) I definitely felt closer to home.Trying not to cry while reading my mom's card...BreeAnn's gift to me was painting nursery art for Talmage! They turned out amazing :D One is a baby giraffe and the other is a momma elephant cuddling her baby...so sweet. I love them so much.

All in all the shower was very successful! The theme was children's books and we got plenty of good ones to read to little Talmage!

Here is the nursery- I finally have all the furniture in just right place and its stayin put until he comes. It wasn't a lot of work, but for some reason it took a while to fall into place just right. And of course we were on a budget, so most of it is courtesy of D.I. and Walmart :)
This is the toy train that my grandpa made for Talmage, so we think it's pretty special :)And Megan framed this adorable poem about baby boys as part of her gift, and I just love it! It goes perfectly with his room :)

Now for the main event...a baby in 7 weeks! We are so anxious to meet you, Talmage!

I love Love but not the loveBUG

It is Valentine's Day and Jonathan and I are both sick. That means no going to church and no eating dinner with the cousins... :( Luckily, we did our lovey stuff earlier in the week. I heart-attacked the apartment while J was in class and made him a chocolate-strawberry trifle cake. And I made porkchops :) And he did the funniest thing...haha...we made a lil video if you wanna see.



It's a little dark and I'm horrible with the camera, so if you can't tell the first bear had a sign that said "There aren't enough bear hugs in the world" and the last bear's sign said "that will ever amount to how much I love you" :) Cute idea...I give him major props.

And here is Jerry, our snowman. After four very sunny days he doesn't look this pleasant anymore- but we still like him :)
Getting a little fresh there...
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Silent Feelings

I used to be poetic. Very much so, in fact, that I would spend hours and hours writing poems and thinking lyrical nonsense all day long. I dare say I was pretty good, but not so good that I believed it to be a "talent". It was just a thing. A way of expression. 574 poems later, it stopped.

Now whenever I blog, I write about simple stuff, like "Today Jonathan and I went to the store" or "What beautiful weather this is" etc. As intriguing as I make myself out to be, I don't really care about those things. I write it because it is what I expect to be written on a blog with my married name attached to the top.

I haven't written a poem in over a year. I did write one song...once...but that was months ago. My fingers were in pain and so I put away the guitar back in the closet. If that were me three years ago, I would play until my fingertips bled. I would go crazy in finding new chords and strange sounds that were so pleasing to hear. Now, if it starts to hurt just a little I cannot make myself go on playing. I think that has a lot to do with this "new life". Marriage changes everything.

I love this life, and there's not a thing I would do to take it back- or even put if off. But the hard part of it is coming to grips with what I care about and what I don't. I don't see any good coming from me writing poetry and playing music...not like the good that is in learning how to cook and sew and do crafty, homemaker type things. Still, when I open the closet to find some misplaced something or other and see my pink guitar gathering dust, I am sad for myself.

There are friends of mine, married ones, that would understand my thinking. There are others that would say, "Every talent is important. You need to have things you do just for yourself- so go and do them." How I so wish I could revert back to those things...but it is my belief that we go through a never-ending cycle of gain-lose. I gained the ability to express my feelings when I most needed to speak, and I have lost it when words for sanity were no longer needed. This is just fine with me. The world keeps on turning as far as I can tell.

Maybe one day I will need to speak again. But I enjoy the ease of just being happy and not having to say why. Like last week when we took a walk through the snow and didn't have to say much because it was already perfect. And like today, as I laid on the paper-covered chair at the doctor's office. I smiled quietly, listening to my son's heart beating and no words were needed then. I have never, ever been *so happy-marriage has done that for me. I guess that's why I find it all right to feel in silence.

Snow Poses

This last week has been a fun one :) For one, I am enjoying my part-time job on campus modeling for the art students. It was like the only job that would take me pregnant, and that's because I am pregnant. They wanted students of all shapes and walks of life. They were really excited when I told them I'd model as often as they'd like, as long as I was physically able. So far it is going alright, but its getting more difficult. Today we did an hour-long pose with short breaks in between, but it was brutal on my back and left leg, as I was slumped over to be more "comfortable". That's the one at the top of this post. A man named Nolan Parson drew it and he is super nice. He always gives me sketches when I come to model. His brother Lione is the one who painted the murals for the temple here and his other brother Dell does artwork for the Ensign. All three are very talented.

Some time ago Jonathan and I went sledding at the college hill with his Program Management class. I only went down the bunny slope at a nice slow pace with Jonathan's legs for padding on either side of my belly, haha. But he went all out doing flips and stuff down the long run which scared me half to death. And guess what? He bruised his tailbone and head. He's okay now but for a few days he walked like an old man with a hunched back, poor guy. If you wanna see it in action, it's at the end of this post :)Over the weekend we went ice-skating! Oh so fun! But I got sore pretty quick so it was short-lived...

Jonathan talks a lot about how he loves to make snow caves. He loves snow :) ....and Rexburg has been getting a lot of snow lately, so when he shovels the walk he makes a big snow pile on our front lawn. So...it was getting pretty tall...and alas, a snow cave.


He truly is the love of my life :) silly boy.

And for those of who may want to know..the TALMAGE update:
All is well. I am 7 1/2 months now and he is quite big. There are a lot of gals in my ward having boys (and one having a girl!) so its exciting to be pregnant alongside them. They give me strength like nothing else. Jonathan is really great, too, he gives me massages and strokes my hair to help me sleep at night...though, it doesn't really help but it's the thought that counts :) Everything so far is right on track so hopefully little Talmage comes on time and not during finals week while J is in class. We are so anxious to meet the little guy though, that maybe a *little early isn't such a bad thing!

And here's Jonathan biffing it on the hill...

My Life Be Like...

strange. That's all I can say.

Because Jonathan is in school all day, and I am not, and work consists of 3-6 hours a week, I find myself with a LOT of free time.
Ways that I put this time to good use: decorate the nursery, watch old movies on AMC and TCM, bake..bake..bake away, clean, paint things, talk to mom and friends on the phone...among other seemingly nonchalant activities. But honestly, I love it. I have more time to free my thinking and relax. I read stuff that normally I wouldn't have time for. I create new crockpot recipes and keep things in order. I plug my ears into my favorite music and let it take over. I daydream endlessly about bringing a child into our family and the kind of mother that I hope to be. I sleep, because my body demands it, and it is so refreshing. This is the first time in my whole life that I have not been either in school or working, and I think it is needed. To put myself back together.

It is a precious time, and everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it "while it lasts". Can I just say how tired I am of hearing that phrase? "Get all your sleep now, while it lasts...." "Be sure to give your hubby lots of attention, while it lasts..." "Get all that you need to get done now, while it lasts..." "BE A SUPER HUMAN NOW, WHILE IT LASTS..." You know, I'm pretty sure that I realize what life will be like with a baby. I have seen it and witnessed it and heard about it for the last year...and I could not be more anxious for April to come. It's going to be tough and crazy and exhausting to say the least, but I don't need to be put back in my place just because I am enjoying *this* time. that is all.

Well....I'm not exactly sure where this is all coming from. I guess I just have a lot going on this head of mine- so many feelings- that my heart is a little more delicate than usual. So bear with me people. But what matters is that, overall, I am happy. This hasn't always been easy for me, so..."while it lasts" just let me enjoy it.

Life is to be cherished at every stage. I don't think that Heavenly Father would send us off to earth with "Now when times are tough, nothing will cheer you up. But you can be happy during the times when its easy and free." It is *most important that we keep our heads up during those hard times. We can exercise our capacity to love even further when it is difficult.

2010

It's a new year! Time flies so fast...I can't believe all that's happened in the last 356 days...

For starters, it was my first year to be married. And married life totally rocks. I mean, singledom had its occasional perks, but this is a whole new world. I never believed that I could love someone enough to want to stay with him forever, nor did I believe that someone could reciprocate such love. One year ago, on December 19th, I was sealed to a very good man for time and all eternity. We dated for only two weeks before we became engaged, but in the days that followed I learned only one revealing truth: that I can find more reasons to love Jonathan every day and there exists no other person who can make me as happy as he does.

In the last year I have also earned an Associate's Degree from BYU-Idaho- and I went out with a bang! All straight A's this last semester :) I am grateful for the opportunity to be educated in such a wonderful place. I wouldn't have done it anywhere else. My high school was pretty rad, too. Boy was I a lucky duck. However much I enjoyed all the crazy classes, I'm done with school for a while. I need some more time now to figure out how to pursue the rest of my career life. After four major switches, I've come to realize that I really don't know what I want. But I do know I will figure it out. And when that day comes I will be a very happy woman :)

The number one reason for putting a hold on college, though, is that I will be a mommy in April! That's in just 3 months! Jonathan and I are so excited :) Our son's name is Talmage Grant Dennett, and I know he's just as anxious to get here as we are! His room is almost all done, and already friends and family have given us so much love and support. He's going to be so spoiled...haha :/

Well, Jonathan just informed me that he has a fever again. So I should probably go tend to my sick hubby...school starts again for him in just 4 days so he needs to get better!
Happy New Year everyone!