kids really do say the darndest things

On a daily basis, things come out of my kids mouths that make NO sense whatsoever but are the funniest things I've ever heard. I really should write them down more often. When I was active on Facebook I would usually post them into my status, but now there's no proper place for all the little quotes to go :/ So, why not here? I have to share just a few...

Hold onto your pants, folks...these children of mine are so random.

Talmage:

Still half asleep, walking out of the bathroom one morning- "That candy in the toilet was really good."

"I don't like the dark but it's okay because I have blue shiny eyes that belong in the dark and light up the dark."

A lot of times Talmage will attempt to tell me about his dreams. We all know that dreams make no sense, so when he starts to recall (in great, elaborate detail) these dreams of his, it's pretty funny.

Charlotte:

She's been talking in this annoying baby voice lately, so I told her she was a big girl and she looked at me very serious and said "I... am a big...MAN."

She was sitting on my lap and put her hands on either side of my belly, then pulled backwards with all her might. I asked her what she was doing and her reply: "I want to hold the baby. Baby, get OUT! Puuullllll........" When the baby didn't come out, she slapped my stomach and grumpily muttered, "Baby gets a spank."

"We go to the boobies?"
me: "The what now?"
"The BOOBIES. I love da boobies, mommy. I eat popcorn!"
(the movies, not boobies. lol)

Sometimes kids can be really creepy. I see this most in T...usually his haunting epiphanies come to him in the car seat as he gazes out the window. He's said some pretty weird things, such as-
"I know that man. He was at my window.... but then I died and now I'm a boy again."

Or when I go into his room to tuck him in he'll say "Mom...that shadow over there...it moves when you go out. But it told me not to be scared."

LIKE FOR REAL. My children give me goose-bumps. I can't fall asleep for a while after those kinds of comments...

Sometimes the things they say are so pathetic, but then I want to shower them with sympathy. Like Charlotte, in her car seat on the way home from church, groans through her tears: "I...SO...TIRED." It's even more pathetic in person.

And sometimes the things they say are just so darn sweet and just what I need to hear...

like a few nights ago when C threw her arms around me after family prayer and said "I wub you soooo much." Out of nowhere. Just pure adorable-ness.

Or when Talmage hugs his sister and says, "Charlotte, I'm happy to have you as a sister. You're little but I just love you."

Or, "I cleaned up ALL my toys, mom. Can I watch a show and you can go to sleep on the couch?" Um, yes, I think that's a swell idea, son! 

I wish I could remember and record every thing they say... but then I would be typing at my computer all day long :) I'm grateful for their un-realized humor that they so generously shower on our sometimes boring stay-at-home lifestyle. They really are the best.