being BRUTALLY honest here

I'm not really sure what is inspiring me to write this post. Maybe it's the ever rising annoyance of reading blogs that portray a "perfect" lifestyle, or my insane jealousy over what other people have or can do (darn that green-eyed monster!) , or maybe because I fear that I come across too...peachy... sometimes.
(I also think that being broke for so long has put things in perspective...)

First off, no one's life is perfect. I know that. Anyone pretending that rule doesn't apply to them know it. Heavenly Father knows it, and that's why he gave us the Savior- to atone for our imperfections. It seems like a pretty simple concept yet people are still trying to "out" everyone else, have their bar set a little higher.

I love Facebook for lots of reasons but I almost dread logging in now...so much bragging about this and that. It's one thing to be happy about something but you can tell when it's just showing off. I'm happy for them and all but there is a right and humble way to share your good fortune. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

I have stopped reading a lot of blogs that make me feel less than. Some of these belong to friends and some are professional DIY blogs. I don't like feeling bad, and by bad I mean not a good wife/mother because I can't do a lot of projects on account of our income and my apartment isn't tidy and I'm not fashionable and my kids don't look perfect and sweet all the time.

I hope that no one has ever felt this way while reading my blog. I am so far from perfect and our little family is going through a LOT right now. I try to be honest and real about our crazy life but avoid writing about the really personal things that we are dealing with. I respect my husband too much, and some things are better between just us and the Lord. There's nothing wrong with someone who wants to be *completely* honest on a public blog, but for me I feel that the line should be drawn somewhere. 

But there are things I don't mind being brutally honest about.

Here are just a few:

I rarely get on Pinterest anymore. It's overwhelming and I tire of being endlessly distracted.
I barely use Instagram because it's a little too hipster trendy for me.
I only wear makeup on Sunday. Most days of the week my hair is in a wet bun. I shaved my legs today for the first time in 3 weeks. The majority of my wardrobe consists of pjs and old t-shirts. And I'm beginning to break out all over my face. Paint a pretty picture?
I'm not very social. The bulk of my friends are on FB. I'm secretly glad I was called to Primary because I don't interact much with the women in the ward. It's not that I don't think they are nice, I just don't have much confidence in myself being a friend to others. I am working on this.
I live in a small apartment in a shady area of town. I wish I had a house with a white picket fence and enormous windows.
If I ever become a working mom, I have no idea what I'll do. My degree was in General Studies.
I thought I was a good photographer until I got a real camera, now I'm not sure. 
I'm sad that I never got to travel anywhere exotic before having kids. We all want to take vacations.
I try to be crafty.  Sometimes I even convince myself that I'm super crafty, but everything I've ever made I've ripped off of Pinterest or some blog. So creativity is lacking.
There are a lot of things about myself that I am working at. Being a more patient mother who doesn't yell so much is one of them.
I can act extremely childish at times. Thank goodness for a husband that keeps me grounded and helps me act my age. 
My children are my world, but sometimes I want to shut them in the bedroom together and go take a bath, or go for a walk, or go on a date. I miss husband time.

I love me, but I know that the me that I am is not perfect. Today's concept of total perfection is a disservice to women everywhere. We can and should strive to be better and that is all we can do.

Jonathan and I on New Year's Eve. At home on our couch, doing nothing in particular. I have no makeup on and wet hair. This is how we party :)

 I should add that I do love my life. I feel so blessed each day for different reasons and I'm in awe of the Lord's tender mercies towards me and my family. I'm aware of the fact that we are a young couple still establishing ourselves in the world. There will be a time for all the things we want to buy and places to travel to and major tasks to accomplish. It can't all happen at once. For now it's the little things that make me happy.

I'm just a tad nervous to click the "publish" button...but this is me being honest. Take it or leave it.